Respuesta :
Here's what I would do:
Make Sure To Indent Each Paragraph
1st paragraph 1st sentence- remove "any"
1st paragraph 2nd sentence- change "especially applies" to "is crucial", remove the comma, and replace "including" with "such as"
2nd paragraph, 1st sentence- remove "with our enemy being Japan," *this adds unnecessary info*
2nd paragraph 3rd sentence- remove "with our enemy being North Vietnam," *this adds unnecessary info*
2nd paragraph 5th sentence- remove "war" after "nuclear" of add "war" after "conventional"
2nd paragraph(?)- remove this sentence "The transformation of conventional war..."
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence- add "but" before "specific"
3rd paragraph 2nd sentence- add "that influenced American society's opinions of the Vietnam War" before "included the My Lai Massacre..." and remove the capitalization on "shootings"
3rd paragraph 3rd sentence- remove "a company of", replace "the population of" with "citizens living in"
3rd paragraph 4th/5th sentence- replace the period with a semicolon, remove "the" and capitalize "president", remove comma after "President",
3rd paragraph 7th sentence- I'm not sure about "whom," so just leave it
3rd paragraph 8th sentence- remove "greatly affected the opinions of the American public..." *since you listed it earlier in the paragraph*
4th paragraph 1st sentence- replace "things" with "events" or "actions" (or both), place a period after support (where the comma is)
4th paragraph 2nd sentence- remove "and", Capitalize "In", and replace "pertaining to" with "that occurred during"
Overall, you wrote a good essay. I hope I was able to help!
Make Sure To Indent Each Paragraph
1st paragraph 1st sentence- remove "any"
1st paragraph 2nd sentence- change "especially applies" to "is crucial", remove the comma, and replace "including" with "such as"
2nd paragraph, 1st sentence- remove "with our enemy being Japan," *this adds unnecessary info*
2nd paragraph 3rd sentence- remove "with our enemy being North Vietnam," *this adds unnecessary info*
2nd paragraph 5th sentence- remove "war" after "nuclear" of add "war" after "conventional"
2nd paragraph(?)- remove this sentence "The transformation of conventional war..."
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence- add "but" before "specific"
3rd paragraph 2nd sentence- add "that influenced American society's opinions of the Vietnam War" before "included the My Lai Massacre..." and remove the capitalization on "shootings"
3rd paragraph 3rd sentence- remove "a company of", replace "the population of" with "citizens living in"
3rd paragraph 4th/5th sentence- replace the period with a semicolon, remove "the" and capitalize "president", remove comma after "President",
3rd paragraph 7th sentence- I'm not sure about "whom," so just leave it
3rd paragraph 8th sentence- remove "greatly affected the opinions of the American public..." *since you listed it earlier in the paragraph*
4th paragraph 1st sentence- replace "things" with "events" or "actions" (or both), place a period after support (where the comma is)
4th paragraph 2nd sentence- remove "and", Capitalize "In", and replace "pertaining to" with "that occurred during"
Overall, you wrote a good essay. I hope I was able to help!