Question

Hi people! :) As my assignment for English Class I had to write a poem about anything. (Literally) It could either be personal or... not. Whichever would be fine. -Don't judge my poem please, Thank You.
Here you go:
I was sick, I remember the day I caught loneliness. It was the day I lost part of me. I was confused to why. It lay like a stone in my lap. No matter how hard I tried being happy, prying, tearing, it simply would not go away. I remained a pebble, lost in this world so vast and uncaring, cast aside, passed by, left astray. I took steps to destroy it before it zapped me, crushed me, left me victim. I pulled harder, ripping that stone right from my sadden heart and threw it all back into the void from where it came.....
Yes, I had thrown loneliness away.

Please let me know how good or bad this was. Was it okay or..? Do I need to work on something? (Be specific and explain yourself) Thank you! :)

Answer 1

I love writing poems. Your poem was very expressive. I have a few tips that could make it better:

1. Try to organize the poem in stanzas or lines

2. Does it have to rhyme?

3. You don 't necessarily have to have punctuation, especially if you organize it in lines.

4. You also don't have to write in complete sentences. This will make readers imagine what is being said

5. Make up a title for the poem

Your poem is good though. As me if you have any questions.

Answer 2

This was very good I loved the words you used like the other person had said in the other commit I would definitely try and organize it a bit more maybe try and move things around to see if they fit anywhere else but other than that it was great!