Question

-25 POINTS- 50 FOR BRAINLIEST
I am writing a Short Constructed Response on the Magical Events that took place in the Myth "Rip van Winkle." I need someone to peer review and edit the following paragraph...

Washington Irving incorporates many characteristics of American Mythology in his short story “Rip Van Winkle,” such as mysterious events.The myth that Irving portrays in this novel is one of many mysterious events that happen throughout the duration of the telling. One such as a deep sleep for 20 years. “One taste provoked another; and he reiterated his visits to the flagon so often then that at length his senses were overpowered, his eyes swam in his head, his head gradually declined, and he fell in to a deep sleep.” Then after he resumes to awake, the story quotes “Rip van Winkle was his name, but it’s twenty years since he went away from home with his gun, and never has been heard of since-his dog came home without him; but whether he shot himself, or

Answer 1

There is a small problem w/ your topic/thesis statement. You note that there are many characteristics of mythology present in the story, but the rest of your sentences only deal with mysterious events. If the prompt suggests that you only focus on one characteristic, you can cut out the "many" part and write:
"Washington Irving incorporates mysterious events, a characteristic of American Mythology, in his short story “Rip Van Winkle."
But if it wanted multiple characteristics, you need to fix it up.

"One such as a deep sleep for 20 years" is missing a verb so it's a fragment.
You could try adding that onto the previous sentence so it's:
"The myth that Irving portrays in this novel is one of many mysterious events that happen throughout the duration of the telling, such as a deep sleep for 20 years."

I don't know what rules your teacher has about quotes, but the general rule of thumb is to cut it down to 8 words max to only include the most essential information.

The paragraph is cut short so I'll need to see the rest of it before I can help you edit it.