Question

I need someone to proofread this please. Can you point out any grammar or punctuation errors you find?

The Railway Children, written by Edith Nesbit, describes the ideal life by adding details on how the happy Railway family is, and on how nice the parents are with lines like “She was almost always there, ready to play with the children, and read to them, and help them to do their home-lessons.” to describe the mother and “They also had a Father who was just perfect—never cross, never unjust, and always ready for a game.” for the father. The story also creates a sense of perfection, by describing their house with having “modern conveniences” because it had “colored glass in the front door, a tiled passage that was called a hall, a bath-room with hot and cold water, electric bells, French windows, and a good deal of white paint.” The children had good clothes, a warm house, lots of toys, and a dog and the whole family was very happy.

Answer 1

The biggest issue with this is that the first sentence is run-on, you should consider breaking it into smaller sentences, maybe by getting rid of the "and" after describing the mother, replacing it with a period and letting the father get a sentence of his own. Also, you could try "-on how happy the Railway family is. The story also uses detail on how nice the parents are-" something along those lines, just to break the run-on sentence?

This is minor, but at the end "creates a sense of perfection, by describing their house-" the comma before by isn't necessary, and can either be deleted, or you can rephrase like "a sense of perfection. The story does this by describing-"

I hope this helps! 

Answer 2

Answer:

I need someone to proofread this please. Can you point out any grammar or punctuation errors you find?

The Railway Children, written by Edith Nesbit, describes the ideal life by adding details on how the happy Railway family is, and on how nice the parents are with lines like “She was almost always there, ready to play with the children, and read to them, and help them to do their home-lessons.” to describe the mother and “They also had a Father who was just perfect—never cross, never unjust, and always ready for a game.” for the father. The story also creates a sense of perfection, by describing their house with having “modern conveniences” because it had “colored glass in the front door, a tiled passage that was called a hall, a bath-room with hot and cold water, electric bells, French windows, and a good deal of white paint.” The children had good clothes, a warm house, lots of toys, and a dog and the whole family was very happy.