Question

I have a poem and I need to know what I can fix on it and what you think grabbed your heart or what would be better to do that.. it is called Sun-burns... thanks brainly.

Have you found your sun
Does he light your life but leave when he is done
Is his smile so strong
That he leaves you so so stunned Do you try to get closer but end up getting burned
Do you try to hug him longer
But he leaves you days done
That’s what happens when you meet a sun
Nothing there when day is done
And if you get to close
You wined up with nothing but sunburns
That’s why we say Sun-Burns
He’s not here to stay
But WE need him any way
But that’s why we say love hurts
To close you’ll go blind
To far you’ll end in the night
You tried to make him stay
But end up with nothing but HIS Sunburns and the night

This is about when you have to be just friends. He makes you smile but WE can’t have him. And it hurts, falling in love with him but he can’t stay. I wish your sun will see you tomorrow and he realizes he isn’t your sun and want to be more. Greatest of luck thanks. AND THIS I GET EXTRA CREDIT FOR, SO DO NOT FLAG IT THAT IS MAKING ME MAD.

Answer 1

Answer:

This is such a pretty poem and I love it. I think where it says: That he leaves you so so stunned Do you try to get closer but end up getting burned

you should make that 2 lines, cut it off after the word stunned.

I also think that on the last line you should say in the night instead of and the night. Overall though this poems is amazing!