Consider all of the ways people say “no.” The speaker of that one word can make the listener feel angry, rejected, sad, happy, hopeful, or any of a range of feelings in between. That’s because it’s not just what we say but how we say it that determines what we’ve communicated. We all send nonverbal messages through gestures, body posture, vocal patterns, and facial expressions as we talk and listen. Recognize that gesture and other nonverbal messages may have different meanings in other countries and cultures. A good communicator picks up the nonverbal messages sent by listeners and responds accordingly.
During the next few days, carefully notice the nonverbal messages being sent by listeners in a variety of speaking situations – casual conversations, group discussions, and formal meetings or presentations – in which you are just an observer. Look for nonverbal indications of the listeners’ feelings, such as:
Loss of eye contact with the speaker
Listeners’ postures (relaxed, tense, leaning forward)
Facial expressions
Hand motions (drumming, fidgeting, etc.)
Note the nonverbal behavior; the message that was communicated by the behavior; and your guess about the reason behind the nonverbal behavior.
Next, concentrate on yourself. Take note of the nonverbal behavior of others directed to you when you are talking. After each encounter you have, note the nonverbal behavior, the message sent to you, and the possible reasons for the behavior.
