▪ What is the thesis of this narrative? The thesis should be located in the first paragraph, usually as the last sentence. ▪ What is the topic sentence for the first body paragraph? (There may be additional body paragraphs, but you only need the first topic sentence for this feedback.) ▪ What are the main points covered in the body paragraph? (these are your examples/illustrations you came up with in the brainstorming activity earlier). ▪ Does the conclusion include some mention of what the student learned from this experience? (This is often referred to as "restating the thesis", but it should not be word for word. ▪ Comment on the overall content/flow of the paper so far. Your "overall" comments for this section should be at least 75 words, but you should go beyond "good" as a response. If you liked the draft, tell your peer what you liked specifically. If you think it needs work, then explain why it was confusing or why you didn't understand a certain example--be clear and specific in your peer feedback. Please let your peer know what they need to work on *most* for the final draft. If you see any glaring grammatical errors, please point this out, but this peer response is about the content of the draft.When I first started working at a local restaurant I enjoyed it, and I was also starting my first year of college. Everyone was nice and I could joke around with the waitresses and other staff. My schedule would not interfere with my classes since the restaurant opened in the evening. When I was working at the restaurant I was the salad and the dessert girl. I had my own little area by myself almost away from the rest of the kitchen. In my own little area I played music from my phone since the cooks were playing music on their phones as well. I worked there for a year and in the second part of the year everything started going downhill mentally and emotionally. The first thing that started was that the restaurant manager walked into my little area mad and asked me where I was that day. When I proceeded
